


damaged goods and fallen angels

by demonhunterknight



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Crying, Everyone Needs A Hug, First Kiss, First Words On Wrist, Fluff and Angst, I Made Myself Cry, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, M/M, Marks, Pie, Profound Bond, Romantic Soulmates, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Denial, Sleepy Cuddles, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-10-11 03:28:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17439086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonhunterknight/pseuds/demonhunterknight
Summary: They say every angel has a soulmate. God created one for every single one of them right?Castiel has never found his...Until the day he pulls Dean Winchester from Hell.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be updated whenever I can, it will be a mulitple chapte story.  
> I hope you enjoy it.  
> By the way, this is the first chapter

                        **Chapter 1: It's gotta be a typo**

Dean Winchester was furious.

No he was enraged.

Who the hell. Who the actual hell would ever say something remotely like this. He glared at the words on his wrist. He stared at them until they became blurry and he had to look away. It had to be a typo. But did soul mate marks have typos? He'd never heard of it before. Sam's was right. His brother had found.. And lost his soul mate. He had never really gotten over the thick black line that crosses out the scrawl of Jess's first words. And he doubted he ever would. But that was a different matter. At this moment in time Dean was once again preoccupied with his own mark.

For the sixth time that day.

When the words had first appeared on his wrist at the age of 16 he had tried to hide them. Hide them from Sammy, from the kids at school but most importantly. From his father. He didn't want to see his expression when saw the same words he had stared at the first day they had appeared. And the only reason he had found out was through force. And he still remembered that like it was yesterday.

~~~

"Son, what does it say?" His father asked curiosity lacing his voice yet the annoyance was seeping through.

"Nothing.. It's unimportant" Dean had replied with a nervous glance towards the man and with a shrug slipped into his jacket.

"Like hell it is" John said stepping forward and grabbing his left arm. Dean turned tugging at his now trapped hand. His eyes wide. He struggled to no avail as John Winchester slid up his sleeve and frowned down at his wrist.

"What the hell does that mean?" He asked. Frowning. Dean pulled his hand away with force.

"How the hell should I know! I'm the one who has the stupid thing not you" He shouted. He stopped as John stared at him. Shocked. Not once had the eldest Winchester ever raised his voice at his father. Dean stopped too, realising his mistake, when it hit him.

Literally hit him. His head swung to the side at the blunt force of the slap. Raising a hand to his cheek he stared at his father.

"Don't raise your voice at me. Ever" John demanded. Dean nodded, his cheek stinging and he silently cursed the words on his wrist. Cursed whoever was stupid enough to say those stupid fucking words.

He hated them. He fucking hated them.

He tried his best not to look at his wrist. Be it in the shower, or when it was warmer in the summer. He vowed he wouldn't think about it. But... He couldn't no matter how much he concentrated on hunting. Or when he was older, drinking. Or playing his music as loud as his ears would cope. He couldn't stop thinking about those words. They played in his head like a scratched record. Over and over again. He hated it.

All because of his father.

~~~

He glanced back at his wrist. He closed his eyes. And just thought.

He didn't even know what it meant. He was 28 years old. He had spent 12 years wondering, begging, praying to finally find out what they meant.

And know he was beginning to think it was some sort of sick joke.

He had read through lore. Books, websites and articles, but he didn't understand how he could be... 'Raised'. From there.....

Perdition.

And how did you even get there in the first place. He sighed and ran a hand through his short hair. It was useless. He would never truly understand. He glanced down at his wrist. The words flooding his thoughts again.

_._

_._

_._

_I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition._

_._

_._

_._

Swearing he stood up, grabbed his jacket and quit the motel room. He needed to drink.

Drink it all away. Like he had done so many times before.

 

~~~

 

 

Castiel was the one of the few angels at the garrison who hadn't found his soulmate.

Now most angels were paired with other angels, and it was practically unheard of for an angel to be bounded.. Profoundly. With a.... Well with a human. But even though he had tried and searched practically the entirety of Heaven. He had still come up short. Every single time. No one had ever spoken the words that we carved into his left wrist. He had examined the messy scrawl and stared at it every day of his long existence. But there was still... Nothing. And with no new angels being created. He feared he would never. Ever. Find someone to say these words to him. There had been similar comments, but never the exact same 5 words.

Now it was understandable seeing as angels didn't use the word _hell_ to describe something. They only used it in the literal sense. And Castiel was tired. Tired of looking in Heaven for him.

So he tried Earth.

 

And eventually.

 

He thought he had found him.

 

It was Heaven's will at first, to rescue the man known as Dean Winchester. Who would shortly be spending his time in Hell. And rescue him. The task was hard and he had spent months collecting how he would go about it. And now he knew how he would. And that the Winchester had breathed his last breath. He was ready to save him.

To grip him tight.

And raise him from perdition.

With a final glance at his wrist.

And the fluttering sound of wings.

Castiel was gone. Gone to save Dean Winchester. And his last thought?

_Who the hell are you?_

 

~~~

 

A year after previous events. Dean was becoming to understand the meaning of the words. That were etched in an almost too neat handwriting.

He was beginning to understand everything.

 

~~~

He stood in the abandoned warehouse. Bobby sitting opposite.

Fresh from hell.

He sat down at the table, and began to swing his legs. Bored.

"You sure you did the ritual right?" He asked. Bobby gave him a look and Dean raised his hands.

"Sorry. Touchy touchy eh?" He chuckled. And as if on cue, the warehouse rattled and shook the roof of the warehouse. Both hunters stood up and grabbed a shotgun. Retreating into what seemed to be a safe corner of the warehouse. Dean opened his mouth to speak.

"Wishful thinking... But maybe it's just the wind?" He chuckled ever so slightly. But all laughter stopped as the doors to the warehouse burst open. In a flash the shotgun was raised and pointing at the figure.

And he was wearing... A trench coat? The man continued to walk and Dean watched him gun still raised... But there was something about him.... The light bulb overhead shattered into a million tiny fragments as the man passes them and as he does so Dean and Bobby both fire their guns in unison.

Yet the bullets don't slow him down.

As impervious he continues to walk forward and Bobby pulls out Ruby's knife as the figure approaches.

" _Who the hell are you_?" He demands.

The man stops and looks at him, his head tilting, eyes squinting. Up close he's handsome, his dark hair ruffled and his eyes a deep blue though a tired expression was seemingly permanently etched into his face.

He seems to be considering his next words before he begins to speak.

" _I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition_ " The man speaks softly, yet loud enough for Dean to here. And as soon as the words left the man's mouth. Dean freezes, his stance falters. His gun falls a fraction. His heart pounding.

_I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition._

_I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition._

_I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition._

His mind is like a record. Repeating those words in the same way the man just did.

He mumbles it slowly. Like a child beginning to speak. Stumbling over the words.

Without noticing, Bobby has taken the knife and plunges it into the man's chest. The man looks down unconcerned and Dean takes a step forward. Still unable to communicate properly. The man pulls it out and drops it onto the floor, grabbing Bobby. Swinging him and tapping two fingers to his forehead .

With a thud, the older hunter drops to the floor.

"I believe we need to talk" The man says, observing Dean.

 

 

 

Dean can move again now. And he remembers all of the hatred he felt towards the man. The nights he had spent awake scowling at his wrist. The desperate attempts to scrape it away with knives.. Anything.

And he rushes forward kneeling next to Bobby. The trench coat man stands, un-moving. His mind is confused. Yet he maintains composure.

_He is bonded to a human. The very creatures his father made. The creatures that made Lucifer fall._

_And he was bonded to one._

_His soul mate._

_Dean Winchester._

"Your friend is alive" He states as if Dean hadn't already checked Bobby's pulse.

"Who the hell are you?" He repeated again. The anger clear in his voice.

"Castiel." He replied.

_Castiel... Castiel. His soul mate's name. The man he would spend his life together with... No. No. No. Bad. You hate him. You can't be thinking about his name. And the way he says it... And his eyes... No. That's it stop it. Stop it. Stop it._

"I mean what are you?" He spat at Castiel.

"I'm an angel of the lord" Castiel spoke, Dean scoffed.

"Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing." He denied shaking his head. The hunter was now standing holding the gun at Castiel's head.

"That Dean. Is because you have no faith"

The lightning flashes once, and on the wall, the shadow of wings appear. Dean stares at them. Stunned.

For a fragment of time. Everything seems frozen.

Time stops.

His heart races.

 _Impossible..._ He thinks.

The light goes out and Dean is shaken back into reality.

"Some angel you are. You burned a poor woman's eyes out" He raises his voice and the angel seems almost taken aback. Yet unapologetic.

"I warned her not to spy on my true form.... It can be... Overwhelming.... To humans. And so can my real voice. But you already knew that" The 'angel' informs.

"Back at the gas station... That was you?" Dean asks sceptically.

"That was partially a mistake. Some people... Special people can see my true visage. You can partially perceive it... But there are some... Implications... " He says.

"And what visage are you know huh? Holy tax accountant?" Dean spits. He was tired now. Fed up of this. His stupid fucking emotions.

"This? This is a vessel" The angel says. Dean scowls.

"What? You're possessing some poor bastard?" He says angrily.

 _Great... His soul mate didn't even have a form._ He thought sarcastically.

"Actually, he's a devout man, he prayed for this" Castiel says stepping forward. On cue, Dean steps backwards.

"Well, I'm not buying what you're selling. So why are you here really?" He demanded. The angel left out a soft sigh. Who would of thought his soul mate would be this... Difficult.

"I told you" The angels says, not wanting to repeat everything again.

"Right and why would an angel rescue me from Hell?" Dean questions. The angel's expression softens and he studies Dean for a moment. Then he realises. He frowns and his heart clenches... That was new. Emotions...

"Good things do happen, Dean" Castiel told him. Dean paused for a brief moment. God did his name sound good coming from the angel. He shook his head slightly.

"Not in my experience" He says. And the angel looks at him.

"You don't think you deserved to be saved?" He questions, his heart clenches again. And again. The angel frowns. He's not used to this. He doesn't think he likes it... Yet part of him does.

"Why'd you do it?" Dean asks.

The pivotal question.

"Because God commanded it. And because I think we both know what we are" Castiel says bluntly.

"Soul mates" He says. Dean shakes his head and steps backwards.

"No. No you're not. You're not my soul mate. You don't get to be my soul mate. Because if you were... You would of been there. 13 years ago. When I needed you. You don't get to turn up now. With your trench coat and flashy wings. You don't get to do that. So no. You're not my soul mate. I don't need one" The hunter says. He watches as something flickers over the Angel's face. A mix of sorrow, pain and sadness. With a hidden anger. For a moment Dean regrets what he says. Knowing deep down. He doesn't mean it. Yet he pushes that thought down, further down until it's buried as far as it will go.

"You don't mean that. There have been implications yes. But I'm here now. And I may say I have waited longer than you to find you" The angel says. Dean frowns.

"Oh yeah. How'd you work that out?" He asks.

"I am centuries old. I spent centuries believing I was alone. I know you have felt anger and sorrow. But I am here now. And I will stay" The angel confirmed. There was something in his voice that made Dean want to believe him. He let the aim on his gun loosen and dropped it to the ground.

"One chance. That's all you get. And it's more than you fucking deserve" He says. Turning and kneeling at Bobby's side again. In an instant his eyes flicker open and he shoots up. Picking up the fallen blade and attempting to attack Castiel again. Who easily eludes him, as Dean holds the hunter back.

"Bobby don't" He says. The older hunter frowns.

"Why the hell not?" He asks glaring at the angel.

"He's... He's my soul mate" Dean states. The hunters jaw went slack and he looked between the two men.

"Son of a bitch. He's your soul mate?" He asked unbelieving. Dean nodded and the angel followed suit.

"I am Castiel, Angel of the lord" He introduced. Dean rolled his eyes as Bobby's eyebrows raised.

"Angel of the lord?" He asked. Dean nodded.

"Yeah, he's an angel" He confirmed. Bobby rubbed his forehead.

"This better be some pet name you just made up, or I'm gonna have to start reading the bible again" Dean felt his face  heat up and he cursed himself for blushing. When did he start blushing? Only since he had met Castiel it would seem.

"Definitely not a pet name" The hunter said shaking his head.


	2. stop touching me damnit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tells Sammy about his soulmate
> 
> And they try and have a normal conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's kinda short.
> 
> But it's also kinda cute.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it.
> 
> -Demon

Chapter 2:

"For the third time. Will you please stop trying to touch my fucking arm?" Dean hissed at the angel as he pulled away his arm again.

The angel had been attempting to grab a hold of Dean's sleeve to 'examine' the words on his wrist and every time he moved closer. Dean moved further away. And Bobby watched them bicker and argue like children as he shook his head and sighed.

"Would you two idjits just sit still for one damn second?" He asked finally fed up of the two.

"You're soulmates for god's sake not children. So act like it. Dean I get you don't want to but for the love of God just suck it up" He sighed and Dean stopped moving. He sighed and shuffled towards the hunter. And the angel moved closer. Bobby sighed.

"Dean I wish to see your mark" Castiel said. Again. Dean frowned and shook his head.

"Well I don't want to show you so back off you son of a bitch" The angel frowned.

"My father is God. Please show some respect. He is not a female canine" he said. And Dean stared at him

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me" he shook his head and raised the fork full of pie to his lips.

They had moved out of the warehouse and travelled to a small café not to far from where they were. As usual Dean had ordered his pie. And Bobby just a drink. The angel however.

"I do not need to eat. My vessel can. But I do not"

"You don't eat? What the fuck?" Dean asked.

"I told you. I do not need to eat. My ve-" he was cut off by Dean.

"Yeah yeah your vessel can, got it" he muttered under his breath and turned his attention back to his pie.

He didn't want this. Well. He didn't think he did. But there was something about the angel. Something about him that wanted Dean to let him touch his wrist. Just so he could feel the cool contact of their hands intertwined together...

Dean shook his head. He needed to stop thinking about Castiel. It wasn't right.

And he wasn't even gay

 

Right?

He wasn't into dudes. He liked women. He slept with women. He enjoyed sleeping with women. Not once had the thought of him being... Gay. Crossed his mind.

God his brother would have a field day if he could hear the thoughts going through his head right now.

As a matter of fact...

"Bobby did you call Sam?" Dean asked the hunter who looked up at him and nodded in confirmation. His eyes widened slightly.

"Bobby what the hell did you tell him?" Dean asked.

"Everything. Why shouldn't I? He's your brother Dean he ought to know you found yer soulmate even if he is a... An angel of the whatever" Bobby said.

"Lord" Castiel said. Both hunters looked up confused.

"Angel of the lord. Not angel of the whatever" the angel corrected as he absent mindedly flicked through the menu.

"You humans certainly have a weird food selection..." He mumbled as Dean grabbed the menu and shoved it back into the holder with a glare aimed directly at the angel.

Dean taps his foot. The pie in front of him now gone. Already eaten. He stands up knocking over several condiments that scatter across the table. A ketchup bottle rolls and Castiel grabs it before it has a chance to fall onto the floor.

"Let's go. I need to talk to Sammy" Dean says. Walking past Bobby and exiting the café heading towards the impala. Bobby looks at the angel who dissapears with the fluttering sound of wings and he sighs rubbing his eyebrows. Tired.

"Damn idjits" he says. Leaving the café.

 

~~~

"Well then tell me what else it could be" Sam's voice breaks the silence. Dean looks up.

"Look. All I know is that I was not groped by an angel" Dean states glancing towards the said angel who frowns at his comment.

"Look. Dean. Why do you think Castiel would lie to you?" Sam argues.

"Maybe he's some kind of demon. Demon's lie" Dean counters and Castiel frowns deeper.

"That's insulting" He points out and Bobby looks up from his books and glances between the boys and the angel that is sat on his couch.

"Really Dean? A demon that's immune to salt rings and devil traps.... And ruby's knife. Dean even Lilith is scared of that thing!" Sam argues. He's tired of Dean's shit. He just wishes he'd accept Castiel as his soulmate angel or not. But he knew it wasn't going to be that easy

"Don't you think that if angels were real, that some hunter somewhere would have seen one... at some point... ever?" Dean asks. Sam nods. He had a good point. No hunter had ever seen or recorded an angel. Not to there intel anyway.

"Well... We have" Bobby says.

Dean legs out a sigh.

"I'm trying to come up with a theory here. Okay? Work with me" Dean says angrily.

"Dean we have a theory" Sam says.

"Yeah one with a little less fairy dust on it please" Dean says. Castiel stays quiet he's aware there's no use in inputting. Whatever he says only gets pushed down and rejected. Or theorised by Dean

"Okay, look. I'm not saying we know for sure. I'm just saying that I think we --" Sam tries tries to talk but is again interrupted by Dean.

"Okay, okay. That's the point. We don't know for sure, so I'm not gonna believe that this thing is a freaking Angel of the Lord because it says so!" He shouts and Castiel looks up.

It?

"You two chuckleheads want to keep arguing religion, or do you want to come take a look at this" Bobby says as he looks at the books he was flicking through. The brothers stop there arguing and walk towards him.

"I got stacks of lore -- Biblical, pre-Biblical. Some of it's in damn cuneiform. It all says an angel can snatch a soul from the pit." He starts.

Dean interrupts.

Again

 

"What else?" He asks.

"What else could it be?" Bobby and Sam says in unison.

"Something that could airlift your ass out of the hot box? As far as I can tell nothing" he says. And Dean sighs rubbing his brows.

"Dean this is good news" Sam says.

Dean turns in him.

"Good how? Please do tell me how this could possibly be good? Cause I'm at a loss".

Sam sighed. This was going to be difficult he took a deep breath before he started.

"Because for once, this isn't just another round of demon crap. I mean, maybe you were saved by one of the good guys, you know?"

"So what if there are angels you're saying there a god now too?" Dean asked disbelievingly.

"At this point. Vegas money's on yes" Bobby said.

"I don't think so" Dean denied.

There was no way. No possible way that there were angels. Or a God...

"Okay, look. I know you're not all choirboy about this stuff, but this is becoming less and less about faith and more and more about proof" Sam tried to talk him into the idea.

"Proof?" Dean scoffs.

"Yes!" Sam says.

"Proof that there's a God out there that actually gives a crap about me personally? I'm sorry, but I'm not buying it" He states pacing the room

"Why not?" Sam asks.

"Because why me? If there is a God out there, why would he give a crap about me" Dean asks. More to himself than Sam or Bobby.

"Dean-"

"I mean, I've saved some people, okay? I figured that made up for the stealing and the ditching chicks. But why do I deserve to get saved? I'm just a regular guy" he says.

"Apparently, you're a regular guy that's important to the man upstairs" Sam says sitting down next to Bobby.

Dean sighs and glares at him.

"Well, that creeps me out. I mean, I don't like getting singled out at birthday parties, much less by... God." He mumbled a string of curses.

 

"Okay, well, too bad, Dean, because I think he wants you to strap on your party hat" he smiles a bit at Dean but stops when he sees his expression.

"Fine. Angel boy. Talk" Dean says turning to Castiel.

But he's not on the couch

Dean's eyes widen.

"Where the hell did he go?" He demands and begins to call.

"Castiel? Angel boy?" He calls through the room.

"Son of a bitch" he says and then the sound of wings fill the room and Castiel is standing in front of him frowning.

"You called?" He says looking at Dean. His gaze occasionally flicking to his wrist which Dean shoves in his pocket.

"You. Are gonna talk. Explain all this shit" the angel nods then stops tilting his head.

"Of course... On one condition that is" The angel begins and Dean frowns.

"Woah woah woah. You don't get to make conditions" Dean said. And the angel frowns.

"All I wish is to look at your wrist. That is not too obscene a request is it?" the angel watches him as Dean clenches his fist.

"Dean just let him. That way everyone gets what they want" Sam said. Urging the too on.

Dean glared at the angel and storms out of the room. The angel taking it as an invitation to follow and they leave the room.

 

~~~

"I told you we were soul mates" The angel says as he tracing his fingers along the cursive writing in Dean's wrist. He shudders in response and looks away. Trying to hide the blush evident on his face.

"Well that's great you were right now let's skip to the part where you tell me what you know" the angel looks up and nods. His hand never leaving Dean's.

"All I know is that it has been commanded by God to save you. It is his will. And I cannot say what for but it is important Dean. You are important. To all of the angels." Castiel says and Dean frowns.

"I thought you knew stuff about this. So you're just the angels bitch doing their handy work" he spits. Angry.

"I am not anyone's bitch" The angel retorts .

"And show some respect. We angels are more powerful than anything you have come across Dean Winchester" his name rolls of the angels tongue like silk. And Dean shudders.

He can't get use to it.  
Used to the feeling of wanting something.  
Wanting someone.

"Right..." Dean trails off watching Castiel intertwine their fingers and examine the joined hands. He blushes and looks down.

"You can't say you don't feel anything. Even I. Feel the bond. Dean. It is profound and meant to be. You have to understand that if an angel has never been bonded to a human before. It could be... Controversial... In heaven... But I will protect you. I swear that. I swear that on my name" the angel promises and his grip on Dean's hand tighten.

His heart pounds faster. And his breathing becomes unsteady. He knows he's blushing. But does he care?

He doesn't know.

But what he does know.

"We are soulmates" he admits and the angel smiles. It graced his features in a way that Dean just wished he could see everyday. Every morning when he woke up. To be greeted by that smile.

He looks away.

"But that doesn't mean I feel anything for you" he ruins the moment and the angels smile falls.

"You do. Yet you still refuse to accept it. Why?" Castiel questions.

"Because I don't deserve it" is all Dean answers with.

"Yes you do. More than anyone"

The angel looks at him and pulls on their hands bringing Dean closer. He pulls back slightly but it's too late

The angels lips are on his.

They were soft. And sweet. And mix of honey... And cinnamon? The angel pushed harder against Dean's lips and taken over by the feeling he pushed back.

He didn't know if he wanted to breathe. Or breathe Castiel in. His mind was a blur. He felt Castiel hand go around to the base of his neck. Steadying the kiss. And Dean slid his hands into the angels hair. Tugging softly on a few curls. The angel made an incoherent noise and pushed harder.

Then Dean realised what he was doing.

He pulled away abruptly and as soon as the kiss had started it was over. Blushing he stood up and exited the room. Not wanting to stay in the room with the angel a moment longer.

He felt so clean.

But.

He had kissed a guy

Not a guy.

An angel.

Not an angel.

His soul mate.

And worse if all?

He wanted to do it again


	3. Apology

Sorry I haven't posted a chapter in a while.

 

I am working on a chapter I promise I've just been caught up on school work and exams.

 

I'll post it as soon as i can.


	4. stolen kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally admits his feelings to a breaking angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long. I hope you enjoy

 

In a instant Dean had fled the room.

He had left the bobby's house and was currently standing outside. White breaths of steam escaping his mouth unevenly and jagged floating off and evaporating into the night air.

It was calmer out here. More opaque and serene. The sky a perfect shade of dark blue. Stars dappled a across them like snowflakes. He rubbed his face and breathed out. Leaning against the side of the impala. He closed his eyes and thought.

What had happened in there? The feel of the angels lips against his as he had kissed him. It felt right. It felt perfect he felt so clean and pure. As if any problems he had had before had just disappeared. He couldn't out his thoughts together as he sat. Still. Staring at the swirl of colour behind his eyelids. He opened them as he pulled out the keys to the impala. Opening the door and getting inside. Turning the key in the ignition.

-Time Skip-

The beat of Metallica burst out if the speakers. Blocking out the buzzing of the phosphorescent lighting as it flicked and whirred overhead. The sound of couples laughing and drunken man helplessly flirting with the bar maid was a comforting sound for Dean.

He knew this scene.

He was part of this scene. He could relax here. He bought the whiskey glass to his lips and drank. Trying to block out any pushing thoughts of the angel he had previously been engaged with. He kept drinking until his head became fuzzy and the woman sitting next to him looked bangable. He smirked to himself and leant over.

"Hey Princess. You lonely? Cause I can certainly keep you company" the woman smirked and leant over. The alcohol present on her breath. Also drunk.

"It depends what you'll be doing handsome" She muttered as Dean's hands ran down her body and grabbed her waist. He leant in to kiss her. Her lips pushing against his drunkenly and uncoordinated.

"How about we take this elsewhere?" She asked. Taking Dean by the hand and leading him out of the bar

\---

The room was filled with the smell of sweat, cigarette smoke and sex. Pants filled the air as Dean pulled his shirt over his head. Pushing the woman. Now known as Claire. Onto the bed. She wriggled under his touch as he left a trail of kisses starting at her neck and trailing down the her breast. Taking one in his mouth she gasped and bucked against his touch. Dean withdrew and undid his belt. His trouser on the floor forgotten along with the woman's clothes. She pulled on his neck and bought him into another kiss as her hand trailed down to his pants. Dean let out a frustrated groan as the woman palmed him pulling her back into a sloppy kiss and pushing her further into the bed.

\---

Dean woke up alone. His head tingling and sore. He sat up but a wave of dizziness shook him and he lay back down. Groaning at the coolness of his pillow. He moved his head slightly to the side to examine the empty bed. He sighed. Remembering the previous nights events his face flushing when he remembered what he had said as he finally reached his peak. A name that was definitely not Claire. One that was the reason she had left frustrated and drunkenly cursing him. A name that had pissed off too many times.

Cas

Why he had been thinking if the angel was evident. He knew what he had done. And knew why. He wanted the angel. He needed him. But he knew he would never admit that.

His face was flushed and he cursed himself. Sighing and ignoring the pleading painful cries from his head. He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Shivering when his feet came into contact with the cold floor of the motel room. Picking up his shirt from the night before he sauntered into the bathroom. He picked up a toothbrush and scrubbed his teeth spitting out the bitter taste of alcohol from last night. He pulled his shirt over his head and walked out of the bathroom grabbing his trousers and sliding his leg into them and hopping to pull them up. Once he has finished he grabbed the keys to the impala and headed back to bobby's.

\---

The door opened and Dean slid through the gap shutting in behind him as he walked forward. Bobby already waiting for him at the table.

"Have fun?" He asked. Looking at him accusingly. Dean frowned and stepped passed the older hunter.

"What? I am not allowed to go to the bar" he asked. Bobby shook his head tutting.

"You know when you were younger. You used to stare at that name. Thinking no one could see the pain. Boy i'm not dumb. I know you care about him. Yet what do you go and do? Screw some other woman when you're drunk. Don't sit and feel sorry for yourself that's not gonna get you anywhere boy. So stop being a damn idjit and talk the goddamn angel. He's been freaking out all night and I can't deal with the child anymore" Bobby said exiting the room leaving Dean feeling guilty. But what did he mean about him freaking out?

He followed Bobby into the room to see paper everywhere. Books lay off the shelves. Littered across the floor. There was broken glass in a corner. And a huddled figure in the same one. His eyes widened. Castiel say on the floor knees tugged into his chest. Breathing heavily. He stepped forward and light exploded.

"What the hell happened?!" Dean said voice raised.

"You" Sam replied "Apparently according to lore. When an angels soulmate ignores the bond the angel starts to feel pain. Immense pain. So everyone you ignore him. He feels pain. Dean... Just talk to him. Fix it"

The Winchester moved forward leaving the room. Bobby following suit. Giving them privacy. Dean stepped forward. Eyes darting around the room. How was he to approach this? A... Depressed? Angel?

"Cas..?" He asked the name tumbling from his lips and the angels head shot up. Eyes wide and pupils dilated. Shaking. The Winchester looked away unable to face him. Yet he still moved closer until he was next to him. He slid down the wall until he was sitting next to the angel. Who was watching him with curiosity and longing.

Dean cautiously reached out a hand and without warning the angel grabbed it intertwining it in his own leaning into the older hunter. Clinging to his shirt in a desperate attempt to get close to him. Just to touch him to feel something. Dean sat there not knowing what to do when he finally moved his arm and wrapped it around the angel. Pulling him into a hug.

"I'm sorry" he finally said "I didn't know" he tried to apologise as the angel shook in his touch. He never thought that he'd ever see an angel like this. In the condition. Or an angel at all. But here he was comforting his soulmate. Who was like this because of him. This was his fault. And he needed to fix it. He pulled away from the angel and cupped his cheek. The angel looking up at him and staring.  
He moved his head closer and closed the gap between him and Castiel his lips meeting. The angel responded instantly pressing against him leaning into the kiss desperately. The kiss hungry and needy full of the emotions that both men were feeling. It was raw and irrational. Messy and perfect. Their lips moved in sync. The hunter moving his hand to the back of the angels neck to support the kiss as the angels hands went to Dean's hair tugging on the short locks. Eliciting a moan from the hunter in response. The kiss deepened if that was even possible and Dean bit down softly on the angels mouth who gasped slightly giving the hunter a chance to slide his tongue into the angels mouth. Exploring the new territory. Their tongues met cautiously at first unsure if this new feeling and then they found a rhythm. They pulled away for a second the angel mumbling words that weren't English. But they sounded beautiful and then their lips were together again pressing against each other in motion. Perfect together. They pulled apart again. More words. Then they were together again. Dean's tongue in the angels mouth dominating the angel as he kissed him shifting his body to get better access. The angel moaning against Dean's mouth.

Eventually they had to pull away for air and when they did they both stared at each other. Dean's eyes filled with lust and wanting. And the angel was feeling things he has never felt before. Emotions. Pure emotions. He loved this man. He needed this man. He wanted this man. His human. His. Only his the one God had binded his grace too his match. His everything.

Dean looked away embarrassed as he looked down at his lap. His lips still tingling from the kiss. His heart pounding faster than it had ever done before and he felt like he was going to pass out.

"Dean.." the angel finally spoke. And Dean shuddered at his name. He liked that. He liked the angel calling him by his name. He wanted that. Loved it. Loved.. him?

"Cas" Dean responded his breath still shaking.

"Do you... Accept now?" The angel asked. Nervously. Wanting to be accepted. Needing him to realise that this was right.

"...yes"Dean finally admitted the angel letting out a visual sigh of relief as Dean wrapped his arms around he angel. Pulling him into his chest as the angels hand clung onto his shirt. Scared to let him go.

 

 


	5. The will of heaven and enochian symbols

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will take place in S04 EP16.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this one is a bit short. I only spent an hour on it. I also realise some of the other chapters have mistakes in it. That's because they're all first drafts. I'll look through them and edit any mistakes.

The light was dim and the sun was setting in the middle of the street stood Castiel, pieces of broken cars surrounding him and alarms blaring. With a flick of his arm they're silenced. On the floor in front of him is a woman, he kneels to her side and pulls down her collar to examine the stab wound. He looks down solemnly.

 

"Goodbye, sister" Is all the angel says as sirens near in the distance and police cars flood the scene. He dissapears and a police officer steps out of the vehicle to examine the body.

 

"What the hell?" He asks, his partner stepping beside to see the same sight.

 

The burnt image of angel wings in singed into the ground, still steaming, stretching from the womans shoulders spanning several feet.

 

 - - -

 

The impala's headlights light up the road as Sam drives. Dean sits in the passengers seat for once. Sam takes his eyes of the road to look at his brother.

 

"So Ruby will meet us outside Cheyenne. She's been tracking some leads. I know she's not exactly on your Christmas list, but if she can help us get to Lilith—"

 

Dean interrupts him, glaring.

 

"Hey, man, work with Ruby, don't. I don't really give a rat's ass" He says, stretching his arms slightly as Sam raises a brow.

 

"What's your problem?" He asks as Dean tuts.

 

"Pamela didn't want anything to do with this and we dragged her back into it, Sam" He says turning to look out of the window and Sam turns his gaze back to road. A heavy silence in the air, neither brother talks. Neither wants to when they think of the psychic.

 

 - - -

The motel door closes behind him and Dean and he tosses his keys onto the side.

 

"Ah home crappy home" He says but stopping when he sees Castiel and Uriel standing in the middle of the room. He stares at Castiel for a moment. Then turns away.

 

"Winchester and Winchester" Uriel says as Sam sighs.

 

"Oh come on" Dean says, standing next to Sam.

 

"You are needed" Uriel says clearly not interested in him.

 

"Needed? We just got back from needed" Dean says pissed.  
  
  
 "Now, you mind your tone with me." Is all the angel says  
  
  
"No, you mind your damn tone with us." Dean spits back at him.  
  
  
"We just got back from Pamela's funeral." Sam explains. Dean steps forward pissed off with the angel, he takes another step closer to Uriel who looks at him with disgust.

 

"Pamela. You know, psychic Pamela? You remember her. Cas, you remember her. You burned her eyes out. Remember that? Good times. Yeah, then she died saving one of your precious seals. So maybe you can stop pushing us around like chess pieces for  _five freaking minutes!"_ He says turning on Cas, who looks down at his shoes. Guilty.

 

"We raised you out of hell for our purposes" Uriel says and Castiel speaks up.

 

"Uriel-" He starts butis interrupted.

 

"No. I don't care about your pathetic 'partnership' with the Winchester" Dean glares at the angel as he speaks.

 

"Now. Let me explain why we're here"

 

 - - -

 

"So you need our help hunting a demon?" Dean asks increduously   
  
  
"Not quite. We have Alastair" Castiel supplies as Dean looks at him.

  
"Great. He should be able to name your trigger man" He says and sits down in the chair that stands beside him. Castiel looks down atr his shoes and looks up again.   
  
  
"But he won't talk. Alastair's will is very strong. We've arrived at an impasse" He tries to explain to the hunter who just shrugs.  
  
  
"Yeah, well, he's like a black belt in torture. I mean, you guys are out of your league" He says raising the glass of whiskey to his lips and taking a drink of the amber liquid.  
  
  
"That's why we've come to his student. You happen to be the most qualified interrogator we've got" He smiles as Dean stops drinking. Placing the glass back on the table to look at him. He looks down at the floor and Castiel steps forward.

 

"Dean, you are our best hope" He says walking towards Dean, but Uriel holds out an arm to stop him.  
  
  
"No. No way. You can't ask me to do this, Cas. Not this." His voice breaking ever so slightly, yet Cas notices.  


Uriel walks up to Dean.  
  
  
"Who said anything about asking?".

 

 - - -

 

Alistair stands visible through the glass in the door. Chained. Chained to a hexacle standing in the middle of a devil's trap. Smiling. Blood dripping down the side of his face, but he still chuckles slightly, knowing whose coming.

  
"This devil's trap is old Enochian. He's bound completely." He explains to the hunter who raises a brow and turns to him.  
  
  
"Fascinating"  
  
He turns away from the door.  
  
  
"Where's the door?" He asks and Castiel frowns at him.

  
"Where are you going?" The angel asks.  
  
  
"Hitch back to Cheyenne, thank you very much" He says.  


Dean walks past Uriel, then stops. The angel blocking his path.  
  
  
"Angels are dying, boy" He says glaring.  
  
  
"Everybody's dying these days. And hey, I get it. You're all-powerful. You can make me do whatever you want. But you can't make me do this" He spits at the angel, his hands shaking.  
  
  
"This is too much to ask,  _I_  know. But we have to ask it" Castiel says, looking at Dean. The two star at each other for a moment, watching until Castiel blinks.  
  


"I want to talk to Cas... Alone" Is all he says.

 

  
 - - -

 

Dean wheels in a cart filled with a multitude of weapons. Alistair watches as he enters. Grinning and he starts to sing.

 

"Heaven, I'm in heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak. I seem to find the happiness I seek, when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek..." He sings as Dean removes the cloth covering the cart. Alistair laughs when he sees the weapons, Dean ignoring him. He stops laughing suddenly.

 

"I'm sorry. This is a very serious, very emotional situation for you. I shouldn't laugh, it's just that—I mean, are they serious? They sent you to torture me?" He asks, pouting.

 

"You got one chance. Tell me who's killing the angels. I want a name" He says.

  
  
"You think I'll see all your scary toys and spill my guts?" He asks  
  
  
"Oh, you'll spill your guts, one way or another. I just didn't wanna ruin my shoes" Dean spits  
  
  
"Oh, yeah" Alistair laughs  


"Now answer the question" Dean says  
  
  
"Or what? You'll work me over? But then, maybe you don't want to. Maybe you're, ah, scared to." Alistair chuckles

  
"I'm here, aren't I?" Dean asks  


"Not entirely. You left part of yourself back in the Pit. Let's see if we can get the two of you back together again, shall we?" He asks tilting his head.  
  
  
"You're gonna be disappointed" Dean says  
  
  
  
"You have not disappointed me so far. Come on. You gotta want a little payback for everything I did to you. For all the pokes and prods. Hm?" Alistair laughs again smirking at the hunter.  
  
  
""No? Um...how about for all the things I did to your daddy?"

 

Dean's head shoots up as Alistair smiles at him.

 

 - - -

 

A few moments later and Castiel's head shoots up at the sound of Alistair screaming. He looks at the ground. Pain evident on his face.

 

\- - -

 

"Do you really think this is gonna fix you? Give you closure? That is sad. That's really sad. Sad, sad."

 

\- - -

 

"Let me know if you want some more. There's plenty left"

 

\- - -

 

"Go directly to hell. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars."

 

 - - -

 

"Maybe you're right. But now it's my turn to carve." 

 

 - - -

 

"You're just not getting deep enough. Well, you lack the resources. Reality is just, I don't know, too concrete up here. Honestly, Dean..."

 

 - - -

 

"You won't be there to see it."

 

 - - -

 

Dean is covered in blood. Alistair holding him up by the collar and punching him repeatedly in an instant Castiel is in the room and Alistair is dead. He drops the knife and walks to the hunters side. Healing him in an instant and pulling him to his chest. Neither of the speak. Until Castiel wraps his arm around the hunter, who does the same as they sit in silence. Holding each other.

 

"I told you I wouldn't be the same person" Is all Dean says to the angel. Whose grip tightens on him.

 

"I know. And I'm sorry"

 


	6. Open Ideas

So I'm creating an open suggestions page.

 

If you have any ideas on how to improve the story.

 

Or even problems/issues with the old chapters that need fixing.

Could you just post them in the comments. That'd be great thanks

 

\- Demon


End file.
